Mothers Speak: What’s Your Fantasy?

Mothers Speak: What’s Your Fantasy?

Mar 16

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I became a mother when I was 28 years old. Still a baby myself in so many ways, I used to fantasize about things like traveling to exotic destinations, gracing international platforms, and being a background dancer in a Chris Brown music video. (You are entitled to your fantasies. I am entitled to mine.) Now that I have experienced that great feminine right of passage into motherhood, I fantasize about things like sleeping in until 830am, hiring a weekly housekeeper, and taking a shower without plastic bath toys swirling around my ankles. The breaking news ribbon scrolling through my head yesterday would have read, “unsupervised toddler takes red crayon to mother’s tread mill belt. Some disturbing images. News at 11.” This occurred to me last night in the middle of a quiet Thai dinner with some girlfriends which begged the appropriate adult response of, “… and another thing, I haven’t left the house all day”… whine whine whine… “and I haven’t showered since Tuesday”… whine whine whine. All the while I am stuffing my face with a Naan loaf and washing it down with yet another glass of Two Buck Chuck. The point is, the further I get into this Mom routine, the easier it is for me to lose sight of a great big world out there that has absolutely nothing to do with bathtub clutter and Crayola graffiti. Someone sent me this video two weeks ago, and I’ll admit, I just now found the 27 consecutive minutes to watch it from start to finish. You’ve probably already seen it, and if you have, you’ve probably taken more than one shower already this week too… just a wild guess. If you’ve followed this blog for more than 5 minutes you would know that I would never use this particular cyber platform to push any sort of political or religious agenda. My posts are generally an attempt to add a splash of humor and/or inspiration to the day and are meant to be enjoyed over cup of cold coffee in between diaper changes. But when I saw this today, it was the cold-water-to-the-face moment where I realized I had better wake up and rejoin the human race, or at least the part of it that was making a actual difference in the world. The film maker features his adorable All-American son as part of his attempt to explain the injustice in the world and his plans to stop it. I can especially appreciate this since these days I’m lucky to use words in conversation that contain more than two syllables. He breaks it down plain and simple so that those of us with an anemic intellect are able to understand. The film is artful and informative. The plan is brilliant. The cause is worthy. But the “Ah ha” moment for me came at the end of the film when the little boy says, “Dad, I want to be just like you when I grow up, and I want to go to Africa and fight bad guys.” Apart from making sure that my kids are fed, clothed, and sheltered from one day to the next, I hope to somehow inspire them to one day do something that matters in this world. I can’t picture my son saying, “Mom, when I grow up, I want to hit up Super Double Coupons Week at Harris Teeter just like you”… or Mia saying, “Mom, can you teach me how to accomplish the impossible at Angry Birds?” Seriously, I hold nothing against bargain shopping and brain cell shrinking entertainment, but it would behoove me every once in a while to take a bird’s eye look at the landscape of my priorities and consider where I ought to place a little more thought and effort toward that which is truly worthwhile.

Watch the Kony 2012 film. Comment. For crying out loud, get involved somehow ’cause this one’s a no-brainer. But beyond that, the next time I threaten to spill my Mommy woes to Charles Shaw at Thai Thursday, I give you full license to remind me that there are more important things that require my attention and my voice… even if it is a little whiny.

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Salina Beasley