Twenty Five Lessons I’ve Learned From My Three-Year-Old Daughter
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1. Redheads really do have more fun.
2. What’s mine is yours and what’s mine usually ends up underneath the bed, the sofa, and the car seat.
3. Helium balloons are a form of cruel and unusual punishment.
4. The definition of prudence is sleeping with one’s purse.
5. A dad is a girl’s first love.
6. “Miss Daddy” is a term of endearment.
7. Skeletor has feelings too.
8. “Dear Jesus… Amen” is a perfectly acceptable prayer.
9. Always steer clear of strange dogs.
10. Always steer clear of strange men in cow suits.
11. Sing-arella, The Lion Came, and Awesome in Numberland are arguably better than the original Disney classics.
12. Nakedness is one of life’s greatest gifts.
13. Food is a worthy passion.
14. It is always time for ice cream.
15. There is an appropriate time and place for waving to truck drivers.
16. A round mid-section is nothing to be ashamed of.
17. People do not die from exposure to public restroom floors.
18. Wrestling is not gender exclusive.
19. It is a mother’s duty to instill in her daughter a healthy fear of frogs, roaches, and strange men in cow suits.
20. If at first you don’t sing in tune, sing louder.
21. Singing loudly out of tune is the coup de gras of sibling rivalry {when your brother is Salem Beasley}.
22. Bandaids cover over a multitude of sins.
23. Losing Princess Jasmine is a fate worse than Bedtime.
24. Bakers, bank-tellers, and librarians are all named Oscar. {Mommy: “Ask her for a lollipop.” Mia: “Miss Oscar, may I have a lollipop?”}
25. Being together is all that really matters.
Happy 3rd Birthday, Mia Girl. You are magical in every way.
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